Rollerblading

Bamboo Dog Repellent

 

3

What started out as my usual Tuesday evening post-work rollerblading excursion about a month ago1 turned exciting a mere 50 yards from my driveway.

From my left came a barking blur. Closing in on me fast from about 8 o’clock was what looked like a collie based hybrid mutt about 2-1/2 feet high. As he2 got close, he leapt trying to grab my left arm. I managed to raise my arm just out of his reach. When the dog missed, he stopped, barked a couple more times and ran back towards the house it came from.

Good thing it didn’t get me, the dog probably weighed 30-35 pounds and had it got my wrist my forward momentum would have come to a sudden stop. I would have hit the pavement hard. I wear my bicycle helmet while rollerblading, but that wouldn’t have been any guarantee it would been in the right place to totally protect my noggin as it impacted the pavement from 6-1/2 feet up.

Another 50 yards down the road with my heart rate returning to near normal, a Honda CRV eased on up next to me with mom driving and her high school aged daughter. They were obviously not too far behind me and witnessed the near miss. The passenger window glided down and the girl asked, “Did he get you?” “No,” I replied, “but it was close.” The window rose back up and they drove off.

I reached the halfway point of my trip and made a u-turn to head back home. Knowing I would have to pass right by that house again, I started to think about how I would handle that dog if it took another run at me. I needed some sort of stick. Just then I noticed at the edge of the road, as if my Fairy Godmother had heard my thoughts, lay a tree branch about 3 feet long and as big around as my thumb. I did a quick spin around and picked it up. Now, armed, I was ready for my return trip.

Sure enough as I got near that house the dog repeated his earlier run at me. This time he was approaching from the right and that was the hand I had my stick in. When he got about three feet away I swung the stick at him. I didn’t see because I was looking forward and continuing on my way, but I felt a thwack and heard a yelp plus the receding doggie paw steps. Yikes! It worked!

Two days later as I got suited up to go rollerblading again, knowing that I would be traveling that same dog protected section of road, I looked around in the garage for a suitable piece of something to use as protection. I found in the dusty corner behind my tool box a 3′ piece of bamboo probably left over from an old matchstick blind from Pier 1. Perfect. I wrapped a little duct tape around one end as a sort of handle. I have skated this route literally hundreds of times and have never seen a dog at that house before. I have now skated that route a half dozen times since then, carrying my piece of bamboo dog repellent and have not seen my attacker again.

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen the mom and daughter in the CRV again either. Coincidence?

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 06/25/15: 157

1. Since then, this title (and nothing else) has been sitting in my drafts folder just waiting…
2. Didn’t really have time to look underneath.
3. Seeing as I didn’t have a relevant photo for this incident I searched Google Images for bamboo dog repellent and that bottle is what I got. Click on it and it will take you to a website where you can buy dog and cat repellent made out of bamboo vinegar.

I Sprained My Blogging Muscle

Eclipse

I’ve got/had a bunch of stories I kinda want to write about, but can’t seem to get them from my head to the keyboard, so I’m going to start small:

When I finished my rollerblading route this evening I remembered that there was supposed to be a partial solar eclipse today. It was scheduled to start in our area about 5:30 and continue until sundown when there would be 40% of the sun’s face covered by the shadow of the moon. It was already after 6:00 PM and the sun was already so low in the sky that because of our tree filled neighborhood, I had no clear view. The “photo” above was taken from in my driveway and shot through the big magnolia in the yard across the street.

Rollerblading

This was one of questions in today’s Deadspin Funbag:

I haven’t seen anyone rollerblading in at least 10 years. Is rollerblading dead? Is it just an activity that nobody does anymore? Or is it the exclusive domain of weird perverts of some kind?

Rollerblading is all but dead relative to its ’90s heyday; sales of rollerblading equipment have been in decline for a while. I assume this is because no one ever figured out how to freaking stop while wearing Rollerblades. Back in the 1990s, people were skating around and doing all sorts of KEWL tricks on park railings, and so other people were like, “Oh shit! That looks fun!” And then they bought all the equipment, only to realize there’s no way to stop. You have to have skillz to rollerblade well, and people with those skillz would probably rather go skateboarding or snowboarding instead, because Rollerblades make you look like a freaking dork.

Rollerblading was also a general fitness craze, and fitness crazes flame up and flame out all the time. You can throw rollerblading right into the fitness-craze dustbin with strippercizing and zebra-rustling. You know what’s a big fitness thing right now? Ballet. They’ve got fitness videos with ladies contorting themselves around chairs and ballet barres, and it’ll all be dead within a week.

Hey! I’m no pervert! I’m just a guy who figured out to sort of stop and enjoys the sense of speed generated by wheels instead of sneakers hitting pavement. I know I’m in a definite minority who still participate in this fitness-craze some 20 years later, but I also admit I still enjoy a good zebra rustling now and then.