British Invasion II
Say hello John.
Rants
British Invasion
The Beatles arrived today, one day ahead of schedule, so far, only Ringo is out of his box:
Cheech for President
AARP survey reveals older Americans support legalizing marijuana (for medical use)
Surprise! Hippies from the Sixties get nostalgic for the good old
days, but with a modern twist. It would be legal to smoke pot and free
too, because Medicare will pay for it. Far out man.
I’ve Outsmarted Myself
Last night I ordered my Christmas present, the Beatles “action” figures. The only shipping option was FedEx ground, because I couldn’t be sure of the delivery day and time I didn’t want it to go to my house because who knows if anyone would be there to meet the driver. Instead I chose to have them shipped to work where someone is always there to sign for a package. Today I got a confirmation email with my FedEx tracking number and an estimated delivery date of December 23rd. Cool, just in time for Christmas. Let’s see, the 23rd is next Thursday…uh-oh.
The plant is going to be closed next Thursday and Friday for the holiday. No one will be there to take delivery. Everyone will be at home, just like me.
Eating Advice Disclaimer
The Legal Department here at mr-miata.net has asked that I clarify my intent in Monday’s post. It was meant as humor, not actual advice. Please consult your physician before making any change in your current dietary habits. Employees of mr-miata.net and their respective agents, affiliates, subsidiary and parent companies, sales representatives, marketing affiliates and partners, distributors, advertising and promotion agencies and members of the immediate families or household of each will not be responsible for any damages personal or public that occur as a result of anyone actually following any of those “tips.” Please enjoy the holidays in moderation in every way.
Need more reasons to take it easy on the foodstuffs? From an Associated Press item in today’s Winston-Salem (NC) Journal: In 1996, the largest St. Nick outfit sold at Santasuits.com was double-X. Today, the company offers a quadruple-X. Another change for the company – most Santas no longer need extra padding to fill out the suit. Read the rest of Holiday pounds overstay welcome.
I Don’t Get It
I got a piece of email at work that was forwarded from someone who always forwards this stuff, so I’m guessing this has been around the world a couple of times already.
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Which of these five lovelies had a breast implant?
Scroll down for the answer.
Scroll down for the answer.
Who gives a big Rat’s As^!
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I’m curious, who sends a picture of nude women in an email, but then substitutes a symbol for the second ‘s’ in the word ass? Were they afraid they would get in some sort of trouble for sending and email with a swear word in it?
A Letter From Santa
Dear Friends,
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem.
The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with STD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing. The 11 lords a-leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.
On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can’t read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.
Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the things you want. This year, I suggest you get your behinds down to Wal-Mart before everything is gone.
Love,
Santa.