Rants

I Hate It When That Happens

Even when it happens for a totally different reason than usual.

I love to read and I usually have at least one book going at a time. My current source is a used book store in town which we visit every other weekend. My usual MO for picking a book to read is to open it up about a third of the way and read a page. This lets me know A) if I like the style of witting and B) hopefully will tip me off that I might have read it before. It always works for A, but sometimes it will fail the B criteria. I have been known to take up to 1/4 of the way through a book before I realize that I have read it before. Because I usually don’t remember how it all finishes up, I’ll just reread it. Hey. people watch a movie they like more than once don’t they?

The past batch of books included one called “Tell No One” by Harlan Cobern that I really enjoyed, so on this past weekend’s trip I told myself that I’d get another one of his books to see if it was as good. There were three on the shelf, so I grabbed on called, “Gone For Good.” Didn’t even read any of it because I knew I liked his writing style.

Well sure enough, by page 10 I knew I had read it already, so I reread it. Good book, not as good as “Tell No One” though. My next trip back to the bookstore, I’ll get one of the other two that I (hopefully) haven’t read already.

It’s The Power Supply Stupid

My new replacement fan from Dell arrived this evening. I cracked open the case and felt the fan force when it was running, not much air movement. Popped out the assembly and pulled the fan off its rubber mounting posts. Installed the new fan and snapped it back into the case. Leaving the case open I hit the power button.

Fan started running, so far so good. I felt for air movement and it didn’t seem any better. As the computer finished booting up I just listened. It seems like the new fan has a tick to it that the other didn’t. Sigh, but at least it isn’t making the horrible vibrating sound. I scissor the case halves together and stand it upright. Just as I reach vertical….brrraaattttttttttttt. The sound is back.

I carefully laid the case back down horizontal….brrraaattttttttttttt. Opened up the case again and unplugged the new fan and….brrraaattttttttttttt, the noise is still there. Put my ear up to the power supply and that is where the racket sounds like it is coming from. Rap on the power supply grating hard with my knuckle and the noise stopped.

Damn! I was so sure. While trouble shooting it was making the noise and I unplugged the CPU cooling fan and the noise stopped, how could this be? The only thing I can think of is the first time I unplugged the fan it jostled the computer enough that the power supply fan quieted down.

Back to the Dell website to see about ordering a power supply. If you remember I complained about struggling to find the parts ordering section on the Dell site, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. All you have to do is click on the pertinent system type on the blue menu bar along the top and right there second from the bottom is Dell Parts & Supplies. But you didn’t think it would easy though did you? Nope, drill down through the hierarchy and sure enough you are told that these items can not be purchased on line, please dial 1-800-Phillipines.

Well, I’m not going there. I’m going to go to Centrix International. It might even be a used power supply, but I’ll be darned if I’m going to have to deal with the refusing to buy a book or putting it on my Dell account madness again. Let alone how much they will want for that sucker. Centrix-Intl has four numbers listed as fitting my box, Guess I’ll be cracking open the case again to check the part number of the P/S.

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/06: 10

Having Trouble Finding Me?

Me too. When I got home from work on Monday I couldn’t get to mr-miata.net. No website, no mail, no FTP. After dinner I could view the blog and get mail. Later when I went to blog it was missing again. The Internet seemed kind of slow to some places, I wondered what was going on. A little after 8 PM I received this:

Dear Customers

We are sorry to inform your that the server Smile is being severly attacked by spammers causing the server go on high load. we are currently still working on this situation, and we hope to stop this attach the soonest possible.

Kind Regards,
ssWebHost.com

Server Smile, I know how you feel. Thanks spammers.

IQ Test

Every Monday morning when I come into work I go to CalvinandHobbes.com, download the Sunday cartoon and print it out. It goes on the cubical wall along with a photo I have taken over the weekend or a picture of the Miata from whenever. Just my little attempt at personalizing my environment.

The comic site always has a banner ad at the top of each comic page displayed and there is always at least one pop-under ad to dismiss when I’m through reading. I’m not sure if this is the first time this particular ad has been there, quite frankly I’ve learned to tune most of them out, but I really like this one:

IQ Test

I think just the act of clicking on the “answer” says an awful lot about your IQ already….

I’m an Odd Man in an Even World

I’m a Levi’s kind of guy. Once I made it to high school and started working part-time to have my own money, I swore I would never wear discount department store jeans again. My first pair of “real” jeans were some button fly 501’s, 32W x 34L.

These were my pants of choice for casual wear for many a year. By my late twenties I was a slightly bigger person than in my teens so my 501’s now came in 34W x 34L.

Somewhere along the line, in my thirties, bigger became better, in style and comfort, so I moved to the loose fit style, the 560 in 34W x 34L. The 560, in varying shades of stone washed was the mainstay pant in my casual wardrobe for the next decade or so.

In my middle 40s I decided that I baggy was more for the younger crowd, so I downsized my leg width by going to the relaxed 550 jean. Unfortunately my waistline had grown, what I could squeeze into a 34 waisted 560 jean had to be inside a 36 waisted 550. I was no longer a square, I had officially become a wide, as my pants size was now 36W x 34L.

A couple of years ago I lost 15 lbs and my 36 waisted pants were a little too baggy, but I was still not small enough to get into 34s. When we went jean shopping, much to my surprise Levi offered a 35W in some styles and I found some in a 505. They didn’t have any 34L though. Using my (now I know, faulty) logic, I bought some 35W x 32L 505 jeans. You see the 34L has always been a touch too long, but my fear of the dreaded “highwater” look has kept me from going with anything shorter. A couple of months was all it took before I actively searched out some 35W x 34L 505’s.

My last pair of faithful 36W x 34L 501’s are getting too worn looking to be seen in polite company, so I am looking for a new pair. My now slightly slimmer waist will still not allow a 34W pant to fit, I tried today, too snug, but the 36W is too loose. The 34L is doable, but a bit shorter would be perfect.

Levi’s just doesn’t make 501’s in a 35W x 33L. I’m an odd man in an even world…

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/06: 5

That Noise!

While not terribly loud, it was annoying enough for my wife to wake me up at 2:22AM this morning to go shut off the PC.

Just figuring out how to get to the replacement parts area of the Dell website was a chore and then after drilling down thru the hierarchy to get to the fans I was greeted with a “We’re sorry” page, please call 1-800-357-3355. I was then shuffled off to the Philippines to order the fan. But before I could actually get the woman to order the fan I had to politely refuse, twice, to buy some sort of computer service book especially tailored to my PC. It was also a minor fight to keep them from putting it my Dell Credit line (unused for the last 2-1/2 years after I took advantage of it to buy this very PC) and place it on my regular credit card. Total with shipping – $22.95.

In one of my attempts to find out how to order a fan, I was rummaging through the support forums and learned of a web site that sells Dell spare parts, Centrix International, but unfortunately, both of the fans listed as compatible for my PC were out of stock.

Started up, went down, went up, down again, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/06: 4

Best of 2005

January

Hot For Teacher

Friday the 7th

Due to yesterday’s train derailment and toxic chlorine gas spill, today was a day off for the Aiken County school kids because several local schools are now housing the displaced folks of Graniteville. But it was a teacher work-day, where the teachers reported to school to do, uh, work. On teacher workdays they get a lot longer lunch break so they can leave the school grounds and dine in local restaurants. I found this out when Donna and I walked into our favorite Friday afternoon off lunch place and it was packed. Several clues tipped us off that all these extra people were teachers, but what amazed me most was that a lot of these young women were very attractive, especially in their jeans and t-shirts. Funny, I don’t remember my elementary school teachers as being this hot. They were all old ladies.

Then logic took hold and I realized that when I was in elementary school my teachers were at least 20 years older than me, which would make them right about as old as these “girls.”

February

Every Husband’s Dream

Sunday the 13th

On the eve of Valentine’s Day I received every husband’s dream, wife sanctioned internet porn searching. Donna is a big fan of Trading Spaces and she heard/read somewhere that the hostess of the show, Paige Davis, was canned from the show for the discovery of a Paris Hilton style sex tape that was somewhere on the net. She asked me to try and find it. I answered promptly, “Yes ma’am, I’ll look in every filthy corner of the net for you.”

It didn’t take long to find out that the tape was not really of her. Or maybe it was the greatest cover up ever perpetrated, it was denied it was her, just someone who looks and sounds a lot like her. The tape may (or may not) be real, but apparently racy pictures of Paige at a gay male charity function are not – Paige Davis Gone Wild!

I may have not found anything tonight, but if she ever comes in and I’m looking at internet porn, I can just say I was looking for that Paige Davis tape.

March

Always Hoped That I’d Be An Apostle

Sunday the 27th

Knew that I would make it if I tried.
Then when we retire, we can write the Gospels,
So they’ll still talk about us when we’ve died.

Yesterday evening Donna wanted a nap, so I queued up the DVD of Jesus Christ Superstar and kept the sound down low. I really like this movie. I’m not sure if it just that I’m a child of the early 70’s and that is the style of music of my youth or is it because I saw a Broadway production of the play on a high school field trip and had great time in NYC, in spite of being left behind. Or maybe it is because we get the whole Jesus fable neatly wrapped up in an hour and 45 minutes.

Today on TCM I stumbled on the last 40 minutes of King of Kings and stayed. It was pretty fun to compare this 1961 “serious” take to the more irreverent JCSS telling of the same story.

April

Might As Well Just Say “I’m A Loser”

Thursday the 7th

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so the folks over at Girls Gone Wild HQ must be pretty happy. I stumbled onto an infomercial for a GGW knock-off this morning called Wild Party Girls. Instead of $9.95 for a video, really usually 2 because they throw in a “free” one, these guys are giving you two DVDs for Free!* (*$5.95 shipping and handling)

Not only are the DVDs free, but they are going to toss in a free hat. It is one of those foam trucker hats that have become, for some inexplicable reason, fashionable again. The hat is bright red with a white front panel. On that white front panel, in matching bright red lettering, are the words “Wild Party Girls.”

It might as well just say “I’m A Loser” on it. This thing screams, “Hey look at me, I’m a schlub! My idea of excitement is to watch girls expose their breasts.” The only purchasers of these things that can’t be considered perverts are the people who aren’t supposed to buy them in the first place, boys 17 and under.

Does the buyer of these types of videos think that if he wears that hat around, nubile young women will just lift their shirts and flash him, hoping to get a starring role in the next series of DVDs?

May

Office Supply Milestone

Thursday the 5th

At 7:38AM this morning I used the last staple from the box I was given when I started working here 505,267,200 seconds ago. To put it in easier to understand terms, I started working at ASCO Aiken on May 1st 1989, which was 5,848 days ago. Each box of staples has 5,000 staples, so I have used approximately .85 staples per day during my tenure here.

I know I don’t use too many staples in my job, but that isn’t much at all. I haven’t worked every single day straight through since then, so let’s do some, as my math idol Jethro would say, cipherin’. Assuming a 5 day work week, we can get much closer to a proper work day number by multiplying by 5 and then dividing by 7. This gives us 4177 or 1.20 SPD (staples per day). What about holidays? Good point, we get 9 paid days off here in Aiken, 9 times 16, so subtract 144 days from the total, giving me a 1.24 SPD ranking. How about sick time? I bet I miss on average 3 days a year for colds or flu or doctor things. Then there was the 2 week recovery from knee surgery in 2000. 3 time 16 plus 10, lets take another 58 days off. Best guess is I have used an average 1.26 SPD in my working here. I am so proud.

June

So If You Get Hurt And Miss Work, It Won’t Hurt To Miss Work

Wednesday the 29th

Our friend’s 11-year old son plays on a traveling baseball team. No, not like Bingo Long & 20 other guys in an old bus barnstorming the southeast, but more like 20 Chrysler minivans with rear seat entertainment centers filled with siblings who go from town to town all over the state every other weekend playing more teams just like themselves in tournaments. The teams have to pay to enter the tournaments and there are uniforms to buy and umpires to bribe and all manner of other expenses that are borne by the parents. To help offset these costs, they do what all kids are taught in school to do from an early age, they sell stuff.

The team’s current scheme promotion is selling raffle tickets to win a bat that has been signed by Yogi Berra. When we had a visit from them this evening to ask if we would like to take some chances, I asked, “Yogi Berra, isn’t that the guy from those Aflac commercials?”

Jared, just gave me as world-weary a look as an eleven year old could, like he had heard that a million times before and it wasn’t that funny the first time either, and nodded his head to say just fill out the back of the ticket fool.

July

All I Want For Christmas Is…

Friday the 29th

…is a subscription to People Magazine. Caught a blurb about this while channel surfing the other day and in this morning’s paper there was a small article about it too. Brittany Murphy will be the new Jordache jeans girl. It was said and written with almost breathless excitement, so I know that Brittney Murphy is a famous person, I just don’t know what she is famous for. Singer? Actress? Reality TV Show Star?

I feel so left out.

August

Temporary Exile

Wednesday the 3rd

The Miata is our daily driver, which is both a blessing and a curse. The really good part is that a fun car makes the most mundane drive enjoyable, even the one to work. The curse part occurs after spending the weekend, like we did this last one, driving the windy, twisty roads in the mountains, because when you return home it makes those mundane drives mundane again.

When driving in the mountains you spend a lot of time in 2nd and 3rd gear, winding the engine out close to the redline as the g-forces through you from side to side in the car. As you turn the wheel, the engine is singing and the car goes right where it is aimed. Occasionally you approach the limits of adhesion and the tires start to complain, but then you ease off the wheel and give it bit more gas and you swoop through the curve. Barely time to enjoy your accomplishment when you see which way the road bends next and set up for it.

Then you are home. Shifting gears returns to a more sedate 4,000 RPM level. All the curves are 90 degree bends on city streets taken at 20 MPH so as to not land in the back seat of the minivan in front of you. Sigh. I have said it before (I could have sworn I’ve said it here, but a search turns up nothing) this must be how women feel after giving birth, a sort of post partum depression.

I saw a commercial the other day on TV for Celebrity Cruise Lines. This older couple return from their cruise and all they can do is remember their “celebrity” treatment. “My butler knew just how I took my tea,” he says. “I had fresh cut flowers every day,” says she. My favorite part is the man is obviously back in his office and is trying to open some vertical blinds that aren’t acting right, “I like to think of this as a temporary exile,” he moans. That is what it is like for me to come back from a weekend driving in the mountains…

September

1 + 1 = 0

Wednesday the 21st

We recently had a city council election here in Aiken where there were 4 people running for the two open At-Large spots. It was really a Republican primary, but seeing as there were no Democrats interested in the offices, it turned out to be the actual election and every registered voter was eligible to vote. The hot button issue in the election was the unchecked growth in the city, particularly the south side.

As it shook out, the four candidates became aligned into two groups of two, one pair for limiting the growth somewhat and one pair for encouraging all the growth possible. As usual, quite a few front yards sprouted campaign signs and every lawn that had signs, had them in pairs representing one group or the other.

Usually when a candidate wins an election, the people who had signs up for the winner leave their signs up proudly. It could be to let us know how smart they are for backing a winner or it could be just rubbing the losing supporter’s noses in it. Heck, there are still a few Bush-Chenney bumper stickers on local cars…

How it happened I’ll never know, especially if the sign groupings were actually representative of the voting intent, but in the election, one candidate from each group won a seat. Within a couple of days after the election, 99.99% of the campaign signs were gone. I guess no one felt like admitting they were a half assed political prognosticator.

October

Question For English Majors

Sunday the 2nd

Is irony used correctly in the following sentence?

During a Cleveland Indian at bat in the fifth inning, with a fan pounding rhythmically on an Indian type drum in the outfield supporting an offensive rally, was the public address system operator being ironic by playing a recording of the bugle call Charge at the same time?

November

Shades of Milli Vanilli

Saturday the 12th

Due to circumstances beyond my control I attended the Aiken Kidney Benefit production of Oliver tonight. Cockney accent, nearly incomprehensible. Southern accent, sometimes difficult to understand. Residents of Aiken, South Carolina playing Londoners, unintelligible.

I can only hope there was a good reason for it, Fagin was lip-syncing his songs. At intermission I told Donna that I thought he was doing just that, but I wasn’t positive. In the second act Fagin has several solo numbers and it was confirmed in Ashlee Simpson-like fashion when the actor stumbled on a couple of words and the song never skipped a beat…

December

Lake City, Where?

Thursday the 22nd

When Donna and I planned this little Holiday trip we decide to take two days down and one back up. To pick a place to stay that was about half way I used the scientific method of stretching my finger from Point Aiken to Point Stuart and looked at a spot about half-way for the overnight stay, unfortunately that point was in the middle of the Okefenokee Swamp. Went a little past half, to make the second day’s driving easier, and settled on Lake City, FL. Made a reservation at the Holiday Inn Express there and started counting down the days until I would get a cinnamon bun for breakfast.

After we had eaten lunch and gone for a hike in the Little Ocmulgee State Park, Donna took out the reservation sheet for the Holiday Inn Express and went to check the directions to get there. For the life of her, no matter how hard she looked, she couldn’t find US52 nor US378 anywhere near Lake City, FL. It was then that she noticed the address on the reservation confirmation I had printed out, Lake City, SC. At first I thought it had to be a misprint, but then I noticed the hotel’s phone number and sure enough I recognized it as a SC area code. DOH!

Got on the cell phone and called Lake City, SC and canceled my reservation. Asked the clerk there to give me the phone number of the Holiday Inn Express in Lake City, FL. There was not an Express, but there was a plain ol’ Holiday Inn, with a vacancy, so we reserved a night there. I wasn’t going to get my cinnamon bun, but at least we would be staying in a room on the way to Stuart, FL not 300 miles away in the wrong direction.