Pretty Much How Things Are Going

Even with today’s win the Red Sox still have the worst record in Major League Baseball at 2-10. They also have the dubious distinction of having the worst run differential in the Majors (meaning both the American & National Leagues) at minus thirty. That means they have been outscored in those 12 games by 80 to 50. Those 80 runs allowed are also the highest in the bigs, which means our pitchers probably have the highest team ERA. Indicative of the FRS’s season so far, today I received my Red Sox Nation packet and it was inside a small plastic bag with the following label:

WE CARE
Dear Postal Customer:
We sincerely regret the damage to your mall during handling by the Postal Service. We hope this incident did not inconvenience you. We realize that your mail is important to you and that you have every right to expect it to be delivered in good condition.

Although every effort is made to prevent damage to the mall. occasionally this will occur because of the great volume handled and the rapid processing methods which must be employed to assure the most expeditious distribution possible.

We hope you understand. We assure you that we are constantly striving to improve our processing methods in order that even a rare occurrence may be eliminated.

Please accept our apologies.
Sincerely.
Your Postmaster