We’ve Been Stimulated

George Bush’s check came in the mail yesterday and in an effort to help stave off a recession we decided to spend some money today.

Stop #1 – Bank. We needed to deposit the stimulus check and cash a couple medical flex spending reimbursement checks. We had the same male teller we had about a week and a half ago. Our first experience with him led us to believe it was his first day on the job. He kept looking back and forth between the check & the computer, hesitantly hitting keys some and then looking back and forth again. He seemed so shy at it that he stumbled on his words when asking us if we were having a good day. Today was more of the same and by his mannerism there was a couple of times that Donna was worried he was actually debiting our account the total of the two checks along with giving us the cash. After we left we thought that maybe next time we’ll just wait on a different teller.

Stop #2 – Home Depot. I needed a couple of shiny new white light switches and four new white outlets for the bedroom I just finished painting. (Why is it that you get the covers included when you buy the switch, but they have to be purchased separately with the outlets?) At the check out counter our cashier scanned the lights, she scanned the outlets with three coming up as $1.99 and one rang up as $2.30. I wasn’t going to quibble over 31¢, but when she dragged the outlet covers over the scanner it booped instead of beeped, didn’t register. She tried again, and again, and again. She pulled out the hand held scanner and it wouldn’t register a price either. Scan, boop. Scan, boop. Next she attempted to key in the numbers below the barcode and was greeted with the same noise signifying failure. Now what? She tries scanning it again. And again, and again. Donna and I look at each other, nod and tell the cashier goodbye. She can be heard in the background pleading as we exit the door, “You don’t want any of this?”

Stop #3 – Kroger. I needed bananas and Donna wanted some English muffins. When we were shopping on Saturday I managed to get 3 bananas that were ripe enough to eat, the rest were the color of the Master’s Champion’s jacket. Tonight there weren’t any at all that weren’t bright green, estimated time on the counter until ripe enough to eat, 4 days. We turned around and left, not even picking up the English muffins.

Stop #4 – Cable Company. July is coming up and as always we will temporarily upgrade to the digital service so we can get Outdoor Life Network Versus. Even though Lance Armstrong is not riding anymore and most of the American hopefuls aren’t living up to their perceived potential or have been suspended for doping we still like to watch the Tour de France. This year we decided to go ahead and get the converter box a couple weeks early to check out some other bike racing action leading up to the big race. We entered the office and there were 4 women sitting at the counter and all four didn’t look up when we came in. We were the only customers in there yet it took a minute or so for one of them to look up and say, “I can try and help you.” “What can I do for you?” I said I’d like to upgrade to basic digital service. She said, “I can give you the box, but it can’t be programed until the computers come back up.” “I tell you what,” I said, “We’ll come back.” When she tried to apologize I waved her off, “We aren’t taking it personally, it’s just the way our day is going.”

Stop #5 – Olive Oils. Donna had a coupon from the local paper that entitled us to a buy one, get one free entr? (from a list of 4.) After the last few stops Donna questioned the intelligence of trying to go out and eat. I told her don’t worry, after the last few experiences, the law of averages was on our side. Olive Oils opens at five and closes at ten, but the best time to get there is early because the place is small and popular. We got there at around 5:30 and the parking lot was empty. The restaurant looked dark, we began to wonder if they were even open. The door was unlocked and as we opened the screen door the inner door opened and a waitress welcomed us. We told her that we would sit outside on the porch if they turned on the ceiling fans. Although it was wicked hot, we would rather be outside and the shade of the porch with the breeze of the fan would make it bearable. There was a flurry of activity as two waitresses hunted for the switch. It seemed to be taking a while so Donna started counting slowly up to ten. I knew if she made it to the top we were leaving. At about 9 one of the waitresses came back and said that the fans were on a timer that is locked up. After last night’s 2-1/2 hour power failure every clock in the place was 2.5 hours early. We opted for inside. We were their first customers of the evening and as such our meal was served piping hot. By the time we left there were two other couples dinning there. I guess Tuesday is a pretty slow night.