As Commissioner of the Valve Store’s ™ Fantasy Football League my duties are legion, one of which is confirming a date for Draft Day, which this year was akin to herding house cats. With that done, next up is picking the order of draft. Unlike the NFL it is not really worst gets first pick, but more like the worst team last year get to draw a piece of paper with a number from 1 to 12 on it which will represent the order.
Tonight when I got home I emailed everyone:
This year’s draft order will be chosen tomorrow, Wednesday, July 31st at 12:40 in the Engineering Conference Room. It will be hosted by Pat Sajak with the numbers being drawn by Vanna White and televised on the Ocho (ESPN8.) Draft Order Numbers will be drawn in the reverse order of last year’s final standings:
1 – Keith Gregory – Team Gregory
2 – Mike Lenio – SC Bone Crushers
3 – Tom Schelfaut – SC SWAG
4 – Kevin Falcon – Swamp Rats SR
5 – Mark Turner – Team TURNER
6 – Gregory Morgan – North Augusta Meatheads
7 – Evan Lenio – Aiken Ball Busters
8 – Bob Royer – Spoiled Rich Guys In Tights
9 – Brian Bogardus – Purple Whales
10 – Robert Arnone – May the Odds Be Evr in My Favor
11 – Bob Smyth – Team Argyle Pilgrims
12 – Brian Montgomery – Multiple ScorgasmsTeam owner attendance is not mandatory, but you are welcome to audit the event in person. With written notice to the EZEFFL Office, 24 hours prior to the event, showing credible evidence that Pat and/or Vanna have “liked” an opposing team on Facebook or tweeted negatively towards your organization, you may be allowed to draw for your own number.
This is being sent to your home email address, but because not everyone checks their home email often enough I am also copying your work email. Because there are probably one or two of you who check neither with any regularity, I will be telepathically implanting this message in your dreams tonight at 3:14AM