Year: 2009

The Geography Of The Sexes

WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages…only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

MAN
Between 1 and 70, he is like Iran, ruled by nuts.

Red Shirt

Although originating in Star Trek, the term “redshirt” has been used in commentary on other action adventure stories, particularly serialized television. As a plot device, redshirts are most commonly used on shows which focus on characters who are prominent members of a larger group. In terms of plot function, redshirts serve to highlight the danger of a situation without forcing writers to sacrifice lead characters.

February is National Heart Month and this coming Friday is Wear Red Day 2009 to support the fight against heart disease in women.

For whatever convoluted reason our company nurse decided to pass around a memo last week to try and get everyone to wear red today, Monday, February 2nd and in spite of what happened to Frogurt while wearing a red shirt in last week’s episode of TDTVS…

…I took my life into my hands and wore a red sweater to work today. Obviously because I am home sitting on the couch in a yellow shirt, nothing bad happened to me on today’s “away mission.”

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 106

87,000 Pieces Of Spanish Moss

We traveled straight to Florence on the interstate to have breakfast with Donna’s cousin (Hi Laurie) and came back entirely off of it. Last night we looked for someplace along the return to catch a walk in the woods, Pointsett State Park fit the bill perfectly. While trying to follow the photo copied trail map we came to where we thought was our additional loop and started along it. It took us about a 1/4 mile before we were positive we were following the park’s border fire break and turned around. Sure enough, about 50 yards down the rejoined trail, there was the plainly marked Hill Top Loop. We are definitely going to make a return trip to this park the next time we are over this way.

Somewhere southwest of Columbia the (recently sponge bathed) Emperor passed through the 87,000 mile mark.

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 105

Commercials

What started as a championship game between two distinct football leagues has somehow been transformed into a showcase for advertisements. Everyone watches the game, but everyone pays attention to the ads.

Don Draper: Advertising is based on one thing: happiness. And do you know what happiness is? Happiness is the smell of a new car. It’s freedom from fear. It’s a billboard on the side of a road that screams with reassurance that whatever you’re doing is OK. You are OK.

Tonight there was an hour show just showing famous Super Bowl commercials. They even had some sneak peeks of this year’s ads. If you missed the show, and can’t wait until tomorrow, you can see quite a few of them here: Adweek.com

Roy: So, what do you do, Don?
Don Draper: I blow up bridges.
Midge: Don’s in advertising.
Roy: No way! Madison Avenue? What a gas!
Midge: We all have to serve somebody.
Roy: Perpetuating the lie. How do you sleep at night?
Don: On a bed made of money.

The cost of a 30-second spot for Super Bowl I in 1967 was $42,500 on CBS. Twenty years and 20 games later, the cost had spiraled to $600,000. For this year’s game, CBS is asking $3 million and they have sold out (pun intended.)

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 104

Mii

After work we drove to Augusta to meet some friends for dinner. Mmmm…ribs. When we were done eating it was decided that the 4 of us should go bowling, so we went back to their living room.

They just bought a Wii a couple weeks ago and have been bowling practically every night. Trust me it showed in the scores. We rolled a total of three games and each game my wife beat me by just a few pins. It is usually just the opposite in the real world, I come out on top there. Incredibly it works that way with the couple we were with too, only she is the better bowler in reality.

Started down, went up, still up.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 104

Urologist Visit

As men age, we tend to end up seeing more and more of the medical establishment. For example, my family doctor recently referred me to a female urologist.

I saw her yesterday and she is gorgeous. She’s beautiful and unbelievably sexy. She told me that I must stop masturbating.

I asked her why, and she said, “Because I’m trying to examine you…”

Superbad

I watched Superbad on Netflix Instant Watch and enjoyed it. Sometime, if you are just in the mood for some teenage raunch/stupid/low brow comedy, this movie will be for you.

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 10/24/08: 103