Fees
Today our summer intern was lamenting the cost of going to college. Not so much just the tuition, but all the fees that get tacked on top, from a $400 lab fee, a $300 engineering fee, down to a parking sticker that is required, but doesn’t guarantee a spot and the 50¢ fee to print a piece of paper in the library. It put me in mind of the 1980 movie Popeye.
The Tax Man: You just docked?
Popeye: I has.
The Tax Man: Ah ha, let’s see here, that’ll be 25? docking tax.
Popeye: What for?
The Tax Man: Where’s your sea craft?
Popeye: It ain’t no sea craft, it’s me dinghy and it’s under the wharf.
The Tax Man: Ah ha. ahh-ha. This your goods?
Popeye: They is.
The Tax Man: Yeah. You’re new in town right?
Popeye: If you call this a town, yes.
The Tax Man: Well, first of all, there’s 17? new-in-town tax, and there’s 45? rowboat-under-the-wharf tax, and one dollar leaving-your-junk-lying-around-the-wharf tax, so all together, you owe the Commodore $1.87.
Popeye: Uh, who’s this Commodore?
The Tax Man: Is that the nature of question? There’s a nickel question tax.
…
Popeye: How come carrots is a dollar?
Geezil: $1.50. You buy what I don’t feel like selling will cost you $2.00.
Popeye: [Takes the carrots and tosses Geezil a nickel]
Geezil: Ah ah. Nope, this is a nickel.
Popeye: I’m payin’ what I feels like payin’.
The Tax Man: You’re not up to no good are you? Because if you are there’s a 25? up to no good tax.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/08: 281
Donna decided to mow the lawn yesterday evening around dusk, because it was as cool as it was going to be until about 3:00 AM this morning (and the neighbors might not appreciate it happening then), but she never did get it done. Never even started.
