Today our summer intern was lamenting the cost of going to college. Not so much just the tuition, but all the fees that get tacked on top, from a $400 lab fee, a $300 engineering fee, down to a parking sticker that is required, but doesn’t guarantee a spot and the 50¢ fee to print a piece of paper in the library. It put me in mind of the 1980 movie Popeye.
The Tax Man: You just docked?
Popeye: I has.
The Tax Man: Ah ha, let’s see here, that’ll be 25? docking tax.
Popeye: What for?
The Tax Man: Where’s your sea craft?
Popeye: It ain’t no sea craft, it’s me dinghy and it’s under the wharf.
The Tax Man: Ah ha. ahh-ha. This your goods?
Popeye: They is.
The Tax Man: Yeah. You’re new in town right?
Popeye: If you call this a town, yes.
The Tax Man: Well, first of all, there’s 17? new-in-town tax, and there’s 45? rowboat-under-the-wharf tax, and one dollar leaving-your-junk-lying-around-the-wharf tax, so all together, you owe the Commodore $1.87.
Popeye: Uh, who’s this Commodore?
The Tax Man: Is that the nature of question? There’s a nickel question tax.
…
Popeye: How come carrots is a dollar?
Geezil: $1.50. You buy what I don’t feel like selling will cost you $2.00.
Popeye: [Takes the carrots and tosses Geezil a nickel]
Geezil: Ah ah. Nope, this is a nickel.
Popeye: I’m payin’ what I feels like payin’.
The Tax Man: You’re not up to no good are you? Because if you are there’s a 25? up to no good tax.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/08: 281
Yup that sums it up perfectly.
How many lab classes are you taking? My son starts Clemson in a couple weeks, his lab fee is only $100. There are other fees, matriculation fee (which I’m suprised they allow in the dorms), software license fee, activity fee (what if he’s inactive?), transit fee (is that fee for passing fees?) and a campus recreation fee.
The biggest fee is the academic fee. Since we got a lottery in SC that didn’t cover the cost of tuition, tuition has just about doubled. Net cost to the consumer is the same as it was before the lottery. Oh, but education is SO much better.
Andrea – Nice pun!
Randy – Adam is an engineering student at USC Aiken.