Year: 2007

Leave My Wife’s Alone

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens it to see a man standing there. He asks her, “Do you have a vagina?”

She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door, it is the same man and he asks the same question, “Do you have a vagina?”

She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, “Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again”.

The next morning there is a knock at the door and both run for it. The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice, “Honey, I’m going to hide behind the door and listen. If it is the same guy, I want you to answer yes to the question, because I want to see where he is going with it.” She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question. “Do you have a vagina?”

“Yes,” she says.

The man replies, “Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife’s alone and start using yours?”

The Most Fun I’ve Had At Work In A Long Time

We are getting a front office update, no new cubical panels or furniture, just some new carpet, wallpaper and the trim painted a different color. They did Human Resources first and now they are continuing through the plant from right to left.

<sarcasm>Yippee my area will be second.</sarcasm> There really is nothing wrong with the way it looks now, sure there are a few places where the existing stuff is stained from use and there are a few holes, but we are a manufacturing facility, not a lawyer’s office. Six months from now the place will look nearly as well used as it does now.

I guess I should go pay attention to how HR looks to see what is in store for me, but it has got to be fairly blah, because I have been in there several times since their update and cannot bring to mind what it looks like.

I know no one else in the office is sure what the new wallpaper looks like! The room next door is first to get the rework, last night the contractor came in and removed the old two-tone gray wallpaper. All that was up this morning was the white liner paper covering the still older paneling. For giggles I printed out two colors of ‘wallpaper samples’ and tacked them to wall next to the door into my area.

Wallpaper Samples

I snagged the background from the Boston Red Sox home page on MLB.com. The idea came from my fellow front office FRS fan (thanks Gerry) and got the expected reaction from my MFY loving manager. The best part was the reactions from all the other people that pass that way each day. Quite a bit of them are obviously not baseball fans because hardly anyone noticed the real connection. I bet about half of them were actual arguing the merits of the all blue paper vs. the blue with red in it. Some noticed the socks in the pattern, but couldn’t figure out why they might be there.

The folks in the room that is all tore up, that the “samples” are in, were good sports about it and with as straight a face as they could muster, explained that that really is the choice of paper for the office remodel. Sometime in the afternoon one of the USC fans had made up a small sample with Gamecock logos all over it to add to the mix.

At the end of the day they must have tired of all the people asking about the redo because they published an FAQ and pinned it to the wall as well. It consisted of one question and one answer:
Q. Are y’all remodeling?
A. Yes

Started down, went up, back down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/07: 476

Musgrove Love

Musgrove Mill State Historic Site

On our Sunday travels, besides an old Post Office, we also stumbled on another Revolutionary War site – Musgrove Mill State Historic Site. Being a gol’ durn Yankee my conception of South Carolina was that the only war fought here was the Civil, but turns out there was much more. Must not have been awake that day in class.

And I was definitely guilty of not paying attention to history back in my school days, so this stuff would have barely rated a mention and a drive by before, but now Donna and stop when we have time. Unfortunately we were early when we got to this site. The gates had opened at 9, but the visitor center didn’t open until 10, more than 45 minutes away, so we didn’t stay. A return visit is in the offing though. Maybe after the Post Office Peregrination we will do a tour of the state’s Revolutionary War sites.

Started up, went down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/07: 474

I’m Betting He Forgives Her For That Too

An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said, “Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 50 years have you ever been unfaithful to me?”

Martha replied, “Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.”

Henry was obviously hurt by his wife’s confession, but said, “I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ‘good reasons?'” Martha said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?”

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, “I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?” Martha asked, “And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge.”

“I recall that,” said Henry. “And you did it to save my life, so I of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.” “Alright”, Martha said. “So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?”

Ten Plus Glenn Springs

Glenn Springs Post OfficeWe did get those two stray Post Offices, 8 more official ones and a historic no longer used one. In just a random happenstance on our drive we stumbled on a small post office in a place we didn’t expect. A quick u-turn and we found out it wasn’t a currently active PO, but a restored building from the old days in Glenn Springs.

You can no longer search for the term gafinkleforp on Google and not get any results. There are two, yesterday’s post and the front page here. Not bad, less than 24 hours. Yahoo is still behind the times, they return no hits — yet.

We had breakfast in Saluda (BK’s French Toast Sticks are the greatest food invention since, well, ever.) Lunch today was in downtown Chester at Annie’s Arbor, whose buffet paled in comparison to the Kings morning offerings. Dinner was at home, thank goodness.

Just in time for Christmas, all nine seasons of the X-files, plus the movie all in one jumbo box for just $246.99. I’ve added it to my Amazon Wishlist in case anyone is feeling generous.

More realistically, the new Blade Runner (Five-Disc Ultimate Collector’s Edition) has been added to the wishlist as well and it is only $54.99. This looks like the only way to get a copy of the 1982 Theatrical Release with the Harrison Ford narration. But to get it to me in time you will have to use expedited shipping as it is not going to be released until 12/18. Happy Shopping.

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/07: 473

Gafinkleforp

Mystery FieldIt took a while this morning, but we finally got off our duffs and made it into Hitchcock Woods around 9:30. For grins we headed all the way over to an entrance on the other side from where we usually enter, so we could walk on some different trails. One new place we passed by was called Mystery Field and there were two mysteries about it that we could see, 1) it really wasn’t a field, but more of an area covered in youngish pine trees and 2) a lot of the trees were painted with blue markings.

We stayed at our company shindig long enough to eat and the door prize drawings before sneaking out the back door. We both “won” prizes, Donna got to take home one of the two large flower arrangements and I was selected to take home one of the small table flower arrangements. Not only did we really not want the big flowers, we weren’t sure they would fit in the Miata, so we gave them away to someone who was sitting at our table.

Stopped on the way home to buy gas. There was a white Miata in the adjacent lot of a restaurant, so while the tank was filling I walked over and put an MMC calling card under their windshield wiper. After filling up we went into Krogers to do our weekly shopping. Pushing the cart out the door I paused as the woman of the couple in front of us snagged some home buyers or apartment guides out of the rack. The couple who grabbed the brochures were in front of us along with two other women shoppers heading towards our section of the parking lot. There was a white Miata parked out there near us and I speculated as to if it was the same one. We both wondered which of the pairs would get in the Miata. The male/female couple made a beeline for the Miata and Donna said to me quietly, “Don’t go say hi, I don’t want to spend 20 minutes in the parking lot chatting.” We were loading the bags in our trunk and as the woman got in the white Miata she noticed us and waved. I noticed the same 1/4 raised stuck power antenna as the one from the restaurant parking lot. I wonder if they thought the card and then seeing us was a coincidence?

Tonight’s title is a word I made up. It returned zero hits on Google. How long will it take for this post to show up in a search engine? How long before someone besides myself searches for the “word” gafinkleforp?

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/07: 471

Wine & Dine Subset

A Miata Darkly IIOnly a real die-hard Miata nut would have recognized the car in last night’s picture as a Miata. And only the Uber Miata Geek subset of that group would have been able to tell you that the car could only be either a 2004 or 2005 because of the speakers built into the windblocker behind the seats.

Ah, Friday night. Donna and I drove to Augusta right after work to meet with MMC‘s Fine Dining Subset for a nice evening out. This month’s pick was Calvert’s. All three of the couples like to eat diner early so we took advantage of Calvert’s Sunset Special which includes salad, entree and desert for $28.95 a couple. Donna had a seafood crepe; shrimp, scallops and crab meat served in a light French crepe and covered with a lobster champagne sauce and I opted for the pecan-encrusted pork.

Tomorrow will be a hike in the woods in the morning and the ASCO Management Club’s annual Christmas meeting in the evening. The Management Club is a subset of the company’s employees that consist of the salaried folks and we get together four times a year for a buffet dinner at a local country club or restaurant and sometimes there is a speaker. The year end one is different in that spouses (or a guest) are allowed to attend and instead of a speaker there is music and dancing. The HR department waited too long to book a place, so instead of the usual middle of December date we are having it in early November. To make up for it we are going to have our office Thanksgiving dinner at work the second week of December.

Sunday is possibly a quick drive northwest to get the Post Offices in Clifton and White Stone, they are the last ones in the Spartanburg subset.

Started up, still up.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/07: 471