Month: August 2005

Choices, Choices, Choices

The budget has been announced for Glorification Of The Annivesary Of My Nascency.

Barbossa: There be a lot of long words in there, mister. We’re naught but humble pirates. What is it that you mean?

Donna has allowed me to spend $200 as I see fit for my birthday.

I have a couple of ideas that I’d like, but I’m not sure I want them bad enough to pull the trigger.

Item 1) Bronze tint on the Miata’s windows. Upside – keeps the interior cooler on sunny days. Downside – On 99.9% of all sunny days the top is down thereby negating any tinting. The top is only up a lot in the winter when the tinting isn’t needed.

Item 2) Rear lip spoiler. Upside – generates increased downforce at triple digit speeds and being non-OEM ensures some individuality. Downside – not so sure it won’t enhance the very thing I’m trying to disguise, the little duck tail hump on the trunklid.

I’m open for suggestions.

For those of you who would to get me a little something, but can’t afford either of the above two items, more cost friendly items can be found on my Amazon Wishlist.

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 275

Kenny The Rooster

A farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell.

The other farmer says, “Yep, I’ve got this great rooster, named Kenny. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem.”

Well, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he’d be worth it. So, he buys Kenny.

The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk. “I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money.

Consequently, I’ll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun,” the farmer said, with a chuckle.

Kenny seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and Kenny takes off like a shot.

WHAM! Kenny nails every hen in the hen house – three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked.

After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Kenny is in there.

Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again – WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants.

The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won’t even last 24 hours.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Kenny on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, “Oh, Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you’ve done to yourself.”

Kenny opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, “Shhhh .. they’re getting closer.”

Iconna Like These

I don’t remember where I came across these, Miata.net Forums no doubt, but I downloaded a whole bunch of these cute little Miata icons. Here is a 4 to 1 look at the the Garnet Red ones:

lilemperors.gif

I’m not sure what for, maybe changing the Miata Club’s member page icons, maybe decorating my desktop, but for now I’ve added the above ones to this page down on the right in the Emperor section.

There is just about one of each style for each color of Miata. I did have to tweak them some as the originals all had yellow headlights, must be a Japanese thing. If you would like your very own selection of these icons, get them here: 90-97 Miata Icons and 99-05 Miata Icons.

Started down, went up, back down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 275

Don’t Tell Mr. Watterson

Forget the Japanese lettering stickers. Nostalgia rules. Way back when, on our first Miata, one of only a couple of mods made to that car, was a red sticker of Calvin and Hobbes in a cardboard box on the back bumper. Stumbled on the sticker in a T-shirt screen printer’s shop and seeing as we both enjoyed C & H we bought it. There was something synergetic about what that box represented to them and what the Miata meant to us, it was perfect. Before trading in the car in 1995 I tried to peel the sticker off carefully in hopes of saving it, but couldn’t. It looked like this:

CnH_Box.gif

We will probably go with that one, but a close second would be this:

CnH_Wagon.gif

Now all I have to do is find an outlaw sticker maker…

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 273

Insect Extermination By Miata

This Saturday is the 6th Annual Master’s Miata Club Bug Splat Rally. We meet at a local restaurant, drive around for about an hour and then end up at an ice cream place for dessert and awards.

Awards are usually, but not limited to, Biggest Bug, Most Bugs, Fewest Bugs and the fan favorite, Closest to the Dot. I give everyone one of those Avery Dots of about 1/2″ in diameter and tell the drivers to put them any where on the front of their car that they want. The one that splats a bug the closest to that dot wins a prize. One year I gave a tube of Close-up toothpaste as a prize for this one. I have used a bottle of Bullseye BBQ sauce too. Other prizes have been a bottle of Mr. Clean to the Fewest Bugs winner and a lot of Dollar Store plastic insects.

When I started running this rally back in 1999, I needed a cool trophy for the Biggest Bug award. I wanted something like the America’s or Stanley Cups that would go home with the winner, but return every year to be given to the next winner. I asked my golfing cubicle mate if he had any old trophies collecting dust in his attic I could have. He said he had the perfect example for me. Tim supplied me with a 3′ tall trophy. I pulled the brass golfer off the top and stuck on a giant rubber bug. I also replaced the year display on the bottom with a Hot Wheels Miata. Beautiful, something any Miata owner would be proud to display on his mantle for a year.

Here is a picture of the 2001 winners and their prizes:
Bug Splat 2001

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 273

Jamaican Holiday

This married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, “You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.” So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, “I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex.”

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex god he was. The husband asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?”

The Jamaican replied, “Just try dem on, Man.” Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on.

As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn’t seen in many years!!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican’s hips.

The Jamaican began screaming; ?YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!?

Started down, went up, back down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 273

The Emperor’s New Stickers

Emperor

Since the stickers have been on the car we have ran into a couple people we know around town and the first things out of their mouths were, “What are those Chinese letters for?” That confirms my suspicion that they are way too loud (close up view.) Off they’ll come tonight.

Rick, of Obsession fame, just sent me a link that might be just the thing: YourEmblem.com Kind of pricey, but I’m racking up the dollar total with my failed far-eastern mods…

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 271