Month: July 2005

Mars Attacks!

My boss at work is forever forwarding emails to the group.He is an internet newbie, so most of the stuff is recycled chain stuff. But I don’t tell him to stop because sometimes the jokes or pictures of scantily clad women brighten up my day. Plus I also get a chance to debunk them to the group by using a couple of the hoax/urban legend sites I keep bookmarked.

Today I got one that shouted at me in various colors and fonts that Mars will be passing the closest ever to Earth this August. Be sure and tell your kids and grandkids because it won’t get this close for another thousand years. Well, I remember that this actually happened 2 years ago, so I replied all asking where did I sign up for the time travel trip and linking to a page describing that this was an event that occurred in 2003.

After I sent that back, I starting reading the whole email and near the bottom was two pictures, one of the Moon and one of Mars about the same size. Underneath were words to the effect, “Starting at the beginning of the month you will be to watch Mars grow in the sky until it is the same size as the Moon to the naked eye, so enjoy the show.”

A little more research and I just had to sent out another email to the group addressing this statement. Mars is roughly twice the diameter of the Moon, 6878km vs. 3476km. For them to appear the same size to the naked eye Mars would have to be roughly twice as far from Earth as the Moon. The Moon is 368,500km from Earth, so doubling that (let’s round up a bit) gives us 800,000km. Lets switch to something we can grasp and convert the 800,000km to 500,000 miles. Mars would have to be 1/2 million miles away to appear the same size in the sky as the moon to the naked eye. Now 1/2 million miles sounds pretty far away, but at Mar’s closest approach to Earth two years ago, it was 35 million miles away. If the red planet finds a way to get that close to us, something is seriously wrong with our solar system. Nobody will be enjoying the show, they will be preparing to die.

Actually this October there will be another close approach. Mars will be a mere 43 million miles away and it will appear in the sky to be the size of a quarter viewed from an 1/8 of a mile away.

My cubical neighbors got to talking about what kind of effect the Martian gravity would have on Earth if it got as close as stated n that email. Back to the web for more research. The mass of Mars is 6.4219e23kg. The mass of the Moon is 7.35e22kg. That is a lot of zeros to try and type into Windows calculator, so seeing as we are just after the ratio, let’s divide 64.219 by 7.35. This gives the answer that the mass of Mars is 8.73 times that of the Moon. For Mars to look the same size in the sky as the moon it has to be twice as far away as the Moon. Because the force of gravity is inversely proportional to the square of the distance between two objects, the force of gravity of the Moon would be ? of what it is if it was twice as far away. So if it Mars that same twice as far away it’s effect would be 2.18 time stronger than that of the moon. I suppose that would make the tides twice as high. And if the Moon and Mars got close to aligning in the sky the tides would be 3 times as high as they are now.

Any Planetary Physicists out there feel free to chime and let me know how far off my calculations are.

Started down, went up, back down, back up, down again, still down.
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Is This A Great Intenet Or What?

Next July 20th is World Jump Day. Remember that old joke about what would happen if all the Chinese jumped up and then landed at the same time? Well we don’t want them to do it because it would throw the earth the wrong way. But if we can get 600,000,000 (right now they only have 212,482,665 people signed up) residents of the western hemisphere to jump at the same time, we can change the earth’s orbit just enough to stop global warming according to Pro. Hans Peter Neisward of the Department of Gravitationsphysik of ISA/Munchen. The time for all of us in the Eastern Time Zone of the US is 06:39:13. So you won’t forget you can sign up to get a one day warning email. Tomorrow morning one year in advance of the event I will be in my back yard doing a practice jump. Oh, yeah, while you are waiting don’t forget to buy the T-shirt.

I discovered World Jump Day at a web site called Oh So Random, home to weird news, funny photos, and other random stuff. Here you can learn how to make your own machine washable menstrual pads or find an ebay auction of a french fry that’s shaped like the Nike symbol or learn how to hack those pesky WALK/DON’T WALK signals so that they change at your command.

For some good clean fun, check out Threadbared where you can find out the true stories behind the photos on the cover of sewing patterns. While you’re there don’t forget to buy a T-shirt.

I saved the biggest bit of lunacy for last. Here is a site that is having a photo contest for people who own a certain small Japanese convertible sports car. “My Favorite Miata Picture” Contest. First prize is a T-shirt. 🙂

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The Otolaryngologist Sees Into Brian

I’ve had a sore throat for about a month and a half now. Three weeks in to it I went to my family physician and he prescribed z-pack (a 5 day course of antibiotic) & 10 days worth of Zyrtec. After the 5 days of antibiotic, it still wasn’t any better, so he upped the ante to a stronger antibiotic, Levaquin for 5 days. After this second course I wasn’t any better, so he sends me to an Ear, Nose and Throat guy. My 2 week wait to get in to see the specialist was over today.

Because this was my first visit to him, he wanted a baseline, so he started out checking the ears. How embarrassing as he had to clean them out a bit before he could look in them. Then we moved onto the nose. He takes out the little plier looking things that work like snap ring pliers, when you squeeze the handles the ends *open* wider. Looks around in both nostrils and then he sprays some stuff in there. He tells me it’ll taste kind of bitter. Turns out it is a anesthesia.

Up until now we have been shining bright lights into orifices, now it is time to get up close and personal. He breaks out the foot long black spaghetti thing. It has a bright light and some fiber optics so the Doc can see inside *real* good. First in one side of the nose and then the other. The second time he goes in the full length. It is in there so far that reflexes take over and I try to swallow it. He politely asked that I don’t do that (not that I could have succeeded, but it messes up his view of my larynx. When the doctor is all done looking he tells me that my larynx looks like that of one of a heavy smoker or drinker. We can eliminate them because of my answers to the intake questionnaire, plus he would have been able to smell that sort of thing. That leaves one other thing that would make your larynx look like that. And in the slight pause that follows, the hypochondriac in me thinks the worse, until he says, “Acid Reflux.”

Turns out that more than half of all suffers of acid reflux don’t have heartburn, it shows up in other ways, sore throat, constantly having to clear your throat, funny taste in your mouth, voice cracking and others.

Can I sue my parents for passing along faulty genes? First it was medicine to lower my blood pressure, then we started medicine to lower my cholesterol and now comes medicine to unflux my acid…

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
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Any Man Who Falls Behind, Is Left Behind

Decided to go ahead and wash the car. I couldn’t use the excuse that it might rain anymore, I’ve used it for the past week or so, and the weather forecast was for more of the same for the next tens days…

I knew I shouldn’t have watched the game. The FRS lost to the Yankees tonight on ESPN. They lost on Thursday as I watched on ESPN2 and then they lost Saturday afternoon on FOX with me on the couch. The Sox won big, 17-1, on Friday when they weren’t on TV, I didn’t even listen. So I shouldn’t have watched them on TV tonight, they probably would have won the game.

The only thing that saved the night was right after the game I found TDPM playing and it was only an hour in. 🙂

Barbossa: Why thank ye, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: You’re welcome.
Barbossa: Oh, not you. We named the monkey Jack.

Started down, went up, still up.
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I’ve Lost The Will To Blog

And here is why: Feeling ‘blogged down’ on the Internet

And because Matt DiFebo is the managing editor of The Daily Tribune News in Cartersville, GA. and probably has several Pulitzer Prizes on the rickety pine shelf behind his desk, if I ever do blog again I’ll be sure it is about politics or education and that it will “incite discussion on these very important topics.”

Oh yeah, did I mention that we went to Kroger’s tonight and that I couldn’t get any luncheon meat for next week’s sandwiches because the Deli Counter was closed. No? Good, I wouldn’t want to bother Matt with that…

Started down, still down.
Miata Top Transitions since 01/01/05: 227

I Got My Stuff

In an effort to keep our country’s economy going strong, I’ve made a few purchases recently. My Camp Mazdamiata T-shirt came in the mail yesterday and is in the wash as I type, for wear this weekend. This past Monday both my WTF stickers and my LOB sticker came in the mail.

One of the WTF stickers is on my cabinet at work and the other I may stick on the car. SWMBO has decreed that it can’t go on the bumper, so my only other option is to put it on the inside of the trunk lid with the other assorted stickers.

The LOB sticker was printed off center. There was a white area on the left between the edge and the black oval outline while on the right the black was touching the edge. On Tuesday I used the Cafepress contact form and complained. Within a couple hours I had a reply that was apologetic and said they would sent me another one. It also said, “You may keep it or give it to a friend; or perhaps you can donate it locally.” Right, I’m sure the Salvation Army would appreciate something like that. Today, Mr. UPS Man dropped off the corrected sticker and it looks much better. For a change, excellent customer service from someone.

Started up, went down, still down.
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Hey, I Thought That Name Sounded Familiar

Watching the FRS and the Yankees play in a window in the corner of the screen. Baseball coverage used to consist of two or maybe three guys in a both calling the action and filling the lulls between action with esoteric stats like, a player’s batting average with runners on 1st and 3rd with 2 outs or less in a two run game against a left handed pitcher. Then we graduated to adding a sideline reporter, usually an ex-player, that they can cut away to for updates or human interest stuff. Now a days, especially for TV, the ex-jock has been replaced by a pretty female face. I’m not saying these women aren’t qualified or are unknowledgable, but being attractive is definitely high on the hiring requirement checklist. The last step will be to let these women have traditionally female names. The lovely talking head for FOX is named Sam Something or other and for ESPN (tonight’s TV outlet) we have Erin Andrews.

Hey, wait a minute I recognize that name. I actually blogged about her back a couple of years ago when she was a back in the studio score reader for TBS. I guess sideline reporting for ESPN is a step up…

Started up, went down, back up, still up.
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